I’ve been running in loop from Monday job to Sunday church. Do you think they asked me a question, no way, they didn’t even look at my side, show part of the last bench in the room full light and smile and joy–not for me I guess. I’ve never asked but how can I?
Tell the reader that you always wanna be someone but you don’t know who the fuck you want to be. I always thought that writing is actually suit me well because I’m not much of a talker. There always was a problem, one big problem that I barely could put letters tighter in one word, sentences are even more difficult but I thought to myself ‘man, what’s on the table? 5/7 job? If I’m lucky to get that you know. The best felling I ever had, the passion, I left on the football pitch (real football ) in my younger days, never in my life I could do something that easily and can get enough of it but you know child’s dream that we bury along with first love and junk food because your body can’t handle it well, not anymore’. One other thing was music, oh my friend, music is a such beautiful things, I just can fall in love with a song, literally fall into it, and falling and falling. But being musician is never was tells an option. Maybe that is a fog of the magic and down want to dissaepr, spoil with the knowledge a skills, because music is one thing that keeps me on the surface when nothing does. It is different with reading. Every time I’m reading something I feel like something can be better here, it’s never bring me on the top of the worlds. Maybe I jay already soiled the magic that you might still see, or maybe I just blind to see it.
Whatever, you know, life is a misters for an idiot. I’m eager to be the one but my judgemental head wants me to do something g alll the fucking time. That is probably the real mystery, at tleast for me—what the fuck wrong with Artur’s head that he just can’t enjoy the moment. Is there any part that is missing. That I can’t answer which isn’t a surprise I think. How the person who unable to enjoy something explain that—it is the same as ask bling person who does he see?